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Weighing Your Options

The choice about whether to parent or place your baby in a home with an adopting couple is overwhelming. This page offers help in considering the options available to you:
Click here. 

Our letter to expectant parents who are considering adoption: 

Hello,

It's impossible to express how much we love and respect you for considering the decision of placing your child in an adoptive family. The fact that you are contemplating adoption illustrates so many loving and good attributes about you. 

Adoption starts with sadness, but we see the eternal blessings and joy that it yields, making the struggles worth it for all of us. Our daughter Iris came to us through two amazing people named Keri and Andrew. We have a very open relationship with both of Iris's birth parents, and it is so beneficial to all of us, and especially and most importantly, to Iris. We are hoping to have an open adoption with all of our children's birth parents. We are open to pretty much any kind of contact, including letters, pictures, blog updates, and visits. We visit with Iris’s birth family a few times a year, and it is wonderful. We want you to be a part of our family's life.

Here are some thoughts from Keri about our relationship:

After [choosing to place Iris with Shaun and Lanette] I felt even more love pouring from them and I knew from that point on that it was the right choice. From that day on I knew that they loved us and the baby girl they were soon going to have. As the weeks went on Shaun and Lanette invited the birth father and I down to their place to have sundaes and to get to know them more. It was wonderful knowing that they were so open with us to invite us to their home, emailing us, and made us feel like family. I even invited them to my home were I have lived my whole life to let them know my background and what I grew up with. Even before I had her they were and are my family, I have never once felt awkward around them. We continue to have visits with each other. (To read our adoption story from Keri’s perspective click here!)

About Us: We met in 2006 at BYU. The first memory Shaun has of Lanette is of her introducing herself at a church gathering. She was wearing tie-dye and showed everyone her double-jointed thumbs. That memory stuck with Shaun, but fortunately, didn’t tarnish his opinion of her enough to stop him from pursuing her. We were married in the Portland Oregon Temple in 2007. It was a beautiful and absolutely perfect day.  We love being married to each other, and are the best of friends. We find so much joy in the knowledge that our relationship and our family is forever.

About a year after we began trying to get pregnant, we went to see a specialist and discovered that the probability of the two of us conceiving children naturally was nearly impossible. After more than a year of treatments, we realized that the Lord had a different plan for our family.

Lanette describes Shaun: Shaun is an incredible man. He is gentle, sweet, sincere, and funny. He has a pure love of God and loves to help others. Shaun was baptized as a member of our church his senior year of high school in Colorado, where he grew up. He served a Spanish-speaking mission in Houston, Texas.  He works full-time at the Provo MTC where he is an administrator. He is nearly finished with a degree in music education at BYU and is preparing for grad school.  Shaun loves music and sings like an angel! He’s a people-person, and people are drawn to him everywhere we go. Shaun is the most perfect daddy. He is patient and fun and Iris knows he adores her, and she adores him back! It is so wonderful to have a husband who is fully invested in his family. Iris and I know we're his top priorities. Shaun enjoys outdoorsy stuff, like running, hiking, water sports and camping.

Shaun describes Lanette: Lanette is the best wife, mother and friend that anyone could hope for.  The first thing that I noticed about Lanette was her beautiful smile—she is such a happy person and adds light and happiness to the lives of all those that know her. Since Iris joined our family I have loved seeing the mother Lanette is becoming.  She is so loving, patient and fun with our girl.  Lanette is a very accomplished person—she graduated from BYU in Advertising in 2008.  Lanette has a heart of service.  She is very creative, loves reading, art, and writing, as a child had some poetry published and in high school was the editor of the school newspaper. She also loves baking! The treats she makes are like art, and I am really glad that I get to eat them in the end. Lanette is amazing and is one of a kind.

Iris joined our family in early 2011. She is a spunky, smart, and very active girl. She loves reading, snuggling, and playing with Mommy and Daddy and her friends. Iris has an amazing birth family, and we love them immensely. We have an open adoption, and we love it. Iris is an amazing little girl, and will be a wonderful big sister. We learn so much from our daughter, and know that she was meant to come to our family. We're excited for another sweet addition!

Our first and foremost goal is to live the way God wants us to.  We aspire to always have a loving and caring family.  We try to be the parents Heavenly Father wants us to be.  We both come from strong families and know what it takes to raise a family in today’s world. We want to raise children who are responsible, loving and firm in their faith in God. We have a lot of fun traditions in our household (like waffles with fruit for Easter breakfast, Christmas caroling, and Independence Day barbecues), and love cooking, painting, hiking and walking as a family year-round.

We truly respect and admire you. Thank you for taking the time to learn more about us. We pray that the Lord will bless you in your decision.

Love,

Shaun, Lanette and Iris

View Our Profile on itsaboutlove.org

Click here to see our Resources Page, with resources for birth parents and their families, and some links to our friends who are also looking to adopt.